Thursday, May 26, 2016

Still Rough-Going

Not too much good news this week, I'm afraid.

Milla continues to have more seizures and tremoring during the day and the worst of it is at the end of the day and in the night.  The seizures are making it very hard for her to fall asleep and once she is asleep, she will typically wake up multiple times because her body is so tense/seizing.  She's out of it more often and her interactions are less frequent.  She will have good spots mixed in during her days, but those times are becoming shorter as she fatigues so quickly.

Also, she ended up getting hand, foot and mouth over the weekend.  While she only had the sores/blisters in her mouth, it was awful and so painful for her - and she was so very lethargic.  Thankfully, she turned a corner Sunday and started to improve from there.  Everyone is healthy this week!  Yay!

Not much good news on Elle either.  She looks like she's been beaten black and blue - everyday more bumps and bruises.  Tuesday morning, she fell hard and nearly bit through her lower lip.  She had a huge, gaping gash inside her lower lip but fortunately she didn't have to get stitches.  Her front teeth have darkened and her gums are all bruised.  But, surprisingly, it hasn't affected her desire or ability to eat!

Also, Monday afternoon, I had a little wreck.  Fortunately, no one else was in the car but me and fortunately, it wasn't my fault and fortunately, the man that hit me has good insurance.  It was pretty minor but my car still had to be towed and will be in the shop for awhile.  

So, we are going to play with Milla's meds to see if we can't control at least some of her seizures.  And we increased one of Elle's meds last week and then a bit more this week - hopefully we will see some positive changes for her.  As I've said before, it's always hard to balance the quality of life between seizure activity and its effects and being too drugged out.  Please pray we find this balance for both girls quickly - without having to go through too much trial and error.

I'm feeling a bit better the last couple of days, but please pray for my heart.  I have been struggling with a lot of sadness and anxiety lately - more than the usual that is always creeping in and out of my heart as we go through all this mess.  Seeing Elle and Milla struggle so much and seeing Milla so lethargic over the weekend just flatlines me. 

Please pray that God will continue to comfort and sustain all of us.  An old but wonderful hymn...

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord.
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

Forever thankful for y'all!!!

Much love,

A super-duper happy Milla :)

Sweet sister time with Ann Carlyle and Milla

Elle, The Cool-Cat Princess

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Mid-May Update

So we are putting one foot in front of the other over here.

Milla is about the same.  She is progressing along and has had some hard times falling asleep due to her tremors becoming worse at bedtime (probably because her body is so fatigued by then).  She also is occasionally waking up in the middle of the night because her tremors will start back up.  So we are increasing one of her meds to combat that.  We continue to see more weakness and spasticity in her body.  But she remains the warrior that she is!  She works so hard mentally and physically - and always with a smile - she is amazing.

Elle continues to have hard days lately as well.  I'm hoping that a contributing part of her issues is due to the hand, foot, mouth infection she has right now.  :(  She is pretty miserable this week.  But infection or not, we are increasing one of her seizure meds to see if her seizures, tremors, etc. decrease.  Pray this virus clears up quickly and that the sores in her mouth will heal tonight as those sores are causing so much pain that she's having a hard time eating and a super hard time taking her meds.  She's been crying most of the last 3 or 4 days...more than her norm/usual.    

Update on Mrs. Melba: Her surgery went very well and the doctors think they got all the cancer out - pray that they really did!  Thank you for praying for her.  She still has a long, long road of recovery, but praise the Lord the surgery went well!  And Milla has been adjusting well to school-without-Mrs. Melba.  She (and I) had a hard time at drop-off the first couple of days without Mrs. Melba but we are both doing better. :)  The kids in her classroom are giving her a little bit of extra love, and the teachers are working so hard to make sure she is taken care of and is happy.  As I've said before, we are so thankful for Second Presbyterian Church's nursery, special needs class and PDO programs!  They have loved us well.

Please continue to pray for strength, energy, wisdom and health for all of us!  And thank you, as always, for your faithfulness in praying for us.

Then the One seated on the throne said, 'Look! I am making everything new.' -Revelation 21:5

Come quickly, Jesus!!

Much love to you all!!

Monday, May 9, 2016

May Update

So many of y'all have been asking how we are doing...thank you so much for caring about us and praying for us and taking care of us!

The good news is that we are all infection-free/healthy!  Thank goodness.  Those sinus infections hang on for.ever.

The bad news is that both Milla and Elle are still not doing well.

Milla continues to weaken.  She sometimes isn't able to/doesn't want to bear weight but she is able to other times - although she fatigues quickly.  Her tremors have worsened, her eye-rolling seizures are much more frequent and she has developed some spasticity in her wrists and legs.  She isn't holding herself up as much as she was which makes getting her into a good position much more difficult.  As a result, her spine is staying curved now.  We will be seeing an ortho doctor soon to see if there is anything we need to do for her spine/posture.  She is choking more frequently due to her secretions and she has had a couple of nosebleeds that have caused a good bit of choking.  We will be seeing the girls' neurologist next Monday for a checkup.

Elle is also progressing.  She continues to have falling/balance issues.  Her absence seizures have been noticeably longer and more frequent.  Her checking-out episodes have increased as well.  There are times of the day that there is almost no break from seizing and/or checking-out.  She has also had a handful of times in the last week that she is unable to get up after falling.  A couple of times it seemed she couldn't figure out how to get up and a couple of times it seemed her muscles wouldn't work.  She was unable to jump with both feet this morning.  She has braces now for her legs that help her bring up her toes as she walks/runs to cut down on some of the falling.

It's a lot.  A lot to carry.  A lot to do.  A lot to process.

Also, please pray for Ms. Melba - Milla's one-on-one teacher at her preschool.  She was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with ovarian cancer.  Ms. Melba will be having surgery Wednesday and then she will start chemo.  She and Milla are so very connected...this is so hard on both of them.  I cannot begin to describe how special their relationship is - they love each other so much. Milla cried when I left her at school last week without Ms. Melba being there.  Please pray that Ms. Melba will have the strength she needs and that the surgery will not have any complications.  Pray for her healing.  Pray that Milla will find comfort and understanding.  Our hearts are so burdened for them both.

Pray for continued wisdom as Frazer and I have to make decisions regarding the girls.  And pray for wisdom for their doctors, therapists, nurses, etc.  We are so very thankful for such an amazing team of people God has gathered to care for Milla and Elle medically - people that care so deeply for them and all of us.

Please pray for strength of heart and body for me and Frazer.

Please pray for Ann Carlyle as she sees her sisters' disease progressing.  Right now, she is sailing along very well and is being such a sweet and attentive big sister.  Her love for her sisters grows everyday and while there are still plenty of sibling squabbles with Elle, she is becoming much more patient and I see her nurturing them and serving them.  It's beautiful.  Pray that she runs to Jesus for comfort as she sees us run to Him and that He will continue to draw her to Himself.  Pray for her little heart.

Thank you all x a million zillion.  I am constantly blown away by the little and big and everything in-between things that you people do for us.  God is so good.

"When I said, 'My foot is slipping, Your love, O Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Psalm 94:18-19

Much love,

The amazing Ms. Melba and Milla

Ann Carlyle and Elle

Elle and her PT, Sonia, trading shoes :)