Does anyone else feel like September lasted foreverrrrr? It was so busy but it just seemed to drag on and on. I digress...
First of all, thank you all for prayers and meals and words and thoughts and flowers and things to put a smile on our faces. We continue to feel lifted up spiritually and physically - my heart treasures this community God has given us, near and far, stranger and friend, so deeply.
Second of all, thank you for your patience with me in getting out some updates on what's going on. I know, I know, no one expects me to write and I don't feel an unhealthy obligation but I always feel a need (a healthy one, I think) to keep everyone in the loop as much as possible because you give so much to us! But the summer was busy and exhausting and honestly, I just was trying to be present in it half the time and just survive it the other half. Writing out what was going on with life seemed too much of a mountain to climb. It made me more tired to think about putting it in words. But I am feeling like writing again so here we are. :)
I'm thankful too for Frazer stepping in and taking a seemingly huge weight off my shoulders last month and catching everyone up on the summer. He just randomly offered to write and I said yes, please! He says he's no good at it, but he is!
So we are hanging in there getting through the days that seem so, so long. Ann Carlyle's homework/studying issue was a bear the first month or so of school but she's doing better with it the last week so maaaybe that will cut down on the daily drama. A mother can dream...
(Her school and teachers are wonderful and Ann Carlyle is wonderful and she has many wonderful traits but self-discipline is not on the top-10 of her strongest traits.)
I was able to spend TWO WHOLE weekends back-to-back in September with dear, dear friends. Those times with those incredible women that I am absolutely honored to call friends (including my sister) were beautiful and hysterical and precious and filled my cup to overflowing. Thank you, girlies, for loving me and loving each other and loving Jesus in ways that challenge me and inspire me. I think y'all are just freaking awesome. Just so you know.
Also, I have started meeting weekly with a small group of women that are in my Sunday school class at church and these women also are filling my soul's tank.
It's so hard to be intentional with my time with other women when I'm not distracted by a million other things but it's so important. God can use those relationships (new and old) and those times to encourage, to challenge, to teach and to see the beauty, brokenness and laughter in life - so many things. It's something that I have not made a priority much the last few years and I was feeling that void greatly.
So all that to say, that is one of the things that God is using to set me feet back on firm ground. He has reminded me that we need others to point us to Jesus and to help us trudge through the mire, crying and laughing as we go. That is how He created us to be - in community. We were not meant to be alone.
As Frazer mentioned in his update, things are never stagnant and there can be extreme ups and downs, often all in the same day. It's a battle not to live in fear everyday. It's a battle not to constantly wonder, what's going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year? It's not for me to have all figured out and praise God it's not up to me! It's actually very freeing to let go of (my sense of) control - but it goes against my personality so I am constantly having to re-center myself around God and not what I fear tomorrow will hold. Why are we all here? Why do we have to suffer? I don't have all the answers but I do know we are here for God's purposes, for His glory, for the beautiful story He is telling even when we don't understand it and we don't know the end and sometimes it seems that all is lost. But it is not all lost. It's not. All the brokenness and tears and fear and anxiety and suffering and death will someday be no more.
Jesus died so that we may have life with Him - not so that we may have life through our kids, jobs, things, experiences, friends, relationships, etc.
Elle had a relatively good week last week but her seizures got bad again Sunday. She had her infusion yesterday but we aren't seeing any improvement with the seizures yet. We increased one of her meds a few weeks ago and I was hoping we could sit tight at that dose for awhile but we may have to make another change. She's a bit fussier these days and sometimes seems confused or just unable to communicate her needs. So that's hard and exhausting. She's 6.5yrs old and 55+lbs and has legs approximately 6 feet long. So that's hard and exhausting too. We should get some new equipment in the next few weeks to help with getting her in and out of the car and bathtub and things like that.
One more thing I want to mention, we've had some health scares and grief in our extended family the past few months so please pray for them when you pray for us. There have been and continue to be some heavy loads to bear. We love our family so, so much. (And thank you, family, for loving us through thick and thin!!!!!)
Thank you all again for your continued prayers and support. I just can't say it enough!!
I'll leave you with the words from a song by Sandra McCracken that has meant a lot to me the past few years. Jesus' love and peace be with you all!
-Dana
(Here is a link to it if you want to listen to it...)
Rock of Ages, when the day seems long
From this labor and this heartache, I have come.
The skies will wear out, but You remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.
The skies will wear out, but You remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.
Rock of Ages, You have brought me near
You have poured out Your life-blood, Your love, Your tears
To make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin.
You have poured out Your life-blood, Your love, Your tears
To make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin.
Rock of Ages. Rock of Ages.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.
Rock of Ages, when in want or rest,
My desperate need for such a Savior I confess.
Pull these idols out from my heart embrace.
Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.
My desperate need for such a Savior I confess.
Pull these idols out from my heart embrace.
Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.
Rock of Ages, broken scorned for me.
Who am I that You would die to make me free?
To give me glory, You took the death and pain.
Rock of Ages, my Offering.
Who am I that You would die to make me free?
To give me glory, You took the death and pain.
Rock of Ages, my Offering.
Rock of Ages. Rock of Ages.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.
Rock of Ages, "It is done!" You cried.
The curtain's torn and I see justice satisfied
Now write Your mercy, on my heart and hands.
Rock of ages, in faith I stand.
The curtain's torn and I see justice satisfied
Now write Your mercy, on my heart and hands.
Rock of ages, in faith I stand.
Rock of Ages, my great hope secure.
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
Bind Your children with cords of love and grace.
Rock of Ages, we give You praise.
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
Bind Your children with cords of love and grace.
Rock of Ages, we give You praise.
Rock of Ages. Rock of Ages.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, Your will be done.